Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Earn Or Burn Proposition

An ad for a Mega-Church appeared on my Facebook page. I visited their website. I am posting my feedback here:

I saw your ad on Facebook. So I checked-out your website. My visit was going fine until I got to the "New Person" page. I have a problem with the way that you embrace new people. And I am not surprised by the lack of comments in the response box.

The way I read the information on your website, I would think that many people are afraid to post anything on it. Why do I think that? Because it is apparent that you don't take anyone, who walks in the door to your building to worship God, at face value.

Every person who appears at your hallowed doors for the first time has to be under the scrutiny of your "Spiritual Eye of Assessment." And only after dealing with the parking lot people, the greeter, the usher, the sing-along, the communion, the sermon (and there's got to be a collection plate stuck in there somewhere)...the whole shebang...does the dear, God-blessed visitor get to go to the (GASP!) "Second Step." (Second step to what?)

(To my blog readers: I'm not making this up...the congregation actually has people designated to escort you around if you are visiting their church for the first time...starting in the parking lot!)(And yes, they have "Steps" that you have to go through to become a bona fide member.)

Yeah, it's a real "Earn Or Burn" proposition at your church, isn't it?

In other words, the visitor has to prove himself or herself "worthy" to sit in a pew in your "Residence of the Smug and Righteous." And, of course, that's BEFORE the visitor gets to fellowship on the fly with any random member of your congregation. Yeah, the visitor has to receive the coveted "Seal of Sanctimonious Approval" before uttering a single "Amen" to anyone there, right?

And heaven help the visitor who doesn't measure up to your standards.

Because then a throng of theological thugs probably pick up the visitor, carry that person out of the sanctuary, past the lobby, across the parking lot and then dump that poor soul on the curb, eh? Don't they? Yeah.

And that most likely explains why nobody leaves a comment on your website. They're probably afraid that they will post something that you'll consider offensive and that their poorly chosen words will lead to a hot bolt of lightening from You-Know-Who.

I have walked with my Father God all of my life. And no matter what, He has never let go of my hand. And it is very sad to see how you have put such a convoluted spin on what is actually a very simple and natural relationship. God isn't complicated! He's easy. Mortals are complicated. That's why God has the job that He has. He helps each person sort through the flotsam and jetsam of human balderdash and acquire an understanding of what it means to be one of His children. That's it. No more and no less. Truly, nobody needs to stick their soul, to your building's stained glass windows, for sixty-minutes, to connect with God.

Always remember and never forget: There is a great difference between a Sincere, Open-Door, Christian Welcome and being met at the Gate by a gang of "Gospel Gestapo."

See you on Facebook.

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