Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Charlie Sheen: Kami Tora

Update: This is the entire tour schedule as of March 24:

02 April, 2011 Fox Theatre Detroit Detroit MI US
03 April, 2011 The Chicago Theatre Chicago IL US
05 April, 2011 Playhouse Square Center Cleveland OH US
06 April, 2011 Palace Columbus OH US
08 April, 2011 Radio City Music Hall New York NY US
09 April, 2011 Oakdale Theater Wallingford CT US
10 April, 2011 Radio City Music Hall New York NY US
12 April, 2011 Agganis Arena Boston MA US
14 April, 2011 Massey Hall Toronto ON CA
16 April, 2011 Trump Taj Mahal - Marc G Etess Arena Atlantic City NJ US
19 April, 2011 DAR Consitution Hall Washington DC US
21 April, 2011 Fox Theater Atlanta GA US
22 April, 2011 St. Pete Times Union Tampa Bay FL US
23 April, 2011 BankAtlantic Center Ft. Lauderdale FL US
26 April, 2011 Verizon Wirless Theatre Houston TX US
27 April, 2011 American Airlines Center Dallas TX US
28 April, 2011 Wells Fargo Theatre Denver CO US
30 April, 2011 Nob Hill Masonic Auditorium San Francisco CA US
02 May, 2011 Rogers Arena Vancouver BC CA
03 May, 2011 Comcast Arena Seattle WA US

What do you want to bet that "goddess" number 3 is doing most of Charlie's creative writing for him?

Charlie Sheen didn't get to celebrate the birthdays with his kids last weekend. But that is largely the result of his own stupidity.

People in Japan are still searching for their loved ones...and that isn't their fault, at all.

I suppose Sheen will eventually get to see all of his kids, again. But the people in northern Japan will face another uncertain day, homeless, devastated and disconnected from the ones that they love the most.

There are rumors swirling across the Internet...that there's trouble in Charlie Sheen's paradise pad, the Gilded Cage.

I'm not surprised. Sheen makes his own problems .

But his whaaa-mbulance rants, pale to piss ant status, when compared to the trouble that many people are facing in Japan, today.

Charlie is no tiger. Far from it. He's coddled and protected and never has to think twice about where he's going to access his next allowance of basic human needs. Sheen is truly a "Kami Tora": A Paper Tiger.

He's a fake.

Charlie Sheen isn't fighting to regain his life, like Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is, right now. He's not waking up to another day in Hell like the people in northern Japan.

Quite honestly, Sheen isn't do anything at all that's close to tiger status. He's just painting a picture of himself that doesn't exist. And selling t-shirts. :P Thbzzzzt!

Tigers are strong. Charlie Sheen, isn't. If you took Sheen's precious cigarettes away right now, he'd fall apart in a very short time. "Tiger Blood"? Bullshit. He's never had a real taste of that stuff in his life!

He's not a cop or an EMT or a First Responder or in the military or working in a VA hospital or as a single parent, trying to make ends meet. Nope.

Instead, Charlie Sheen is attempting to make himself look good by putting other people down and calling them "trolls."


Do you know who the biggest troll REALLY is?

The Lion Said It Best

There's a lesson to be learned in all of this. But I'm not holding out much hope that Charlie Sheen will ever figure out what that lesson is.

"Oh no," you might say, "He's just messing around with his public persona."

Is he?

Or does he actually believe that he's all that and a ton of tremendous?

I think Charlie Sheen is a P.T. Barnum in a circus full of trash talk.

The pitcher, Satchel Paige once said: "You win a few, you lose a few. Some get rained out. But you got to dress for all of them."

Charlie Sheen better make sure that he always puts on the right clothes.

After all, his skin is not tiger fur. It's not even faux fur.

Which is something that he and everyone else...should keep in mind.

*Oh, and by the way, Charlie, THIS is FUNNY!

**Did you make that hat out of a Whoopie Cushion, Sheen? Operation Dog Dirt

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