Monday, January 09, 2012

The Lifestyle Of The Poor And Hitching

Ah, yes...a hitchhiker doesn't just waltz in off of the road and into port. No, she, like any other professional, retains a touch of class.

Here are some photographs that will prove my point.

The average "Hobo Haven" includes an older television set (hitchhikers don't get a flat screen), an iron, ironing board, microwave and refrigerator.

Yes, not only does the hitchhiker get to cook food and keep her drinks cold...she also gets to iron all of her clothes. This will ensure that her pants will look properly creased when she is standing in the mud, on the shoulder of a rural highway.

A Hobo Haven always includes coffee to brew in a coffee maker. The hitchhiker usually ignores the coffee and heats water for tea, instead.

But when the Hobo Haven features a microwave, the hitchhiker gets confused and reaches for her ever-ready bottle of Diet Mt. Dew, instead.

Of course, when the hitchhiker first gets to the Hobo Haven, she is dirty and doesn't even want to look at her reflection in her laptop camera.

But just before she goes to the Hobo Cleanup Room, the hitchhiker says "hello" to her bag of Combos. She considers Combos to be the best food on the road.

One of the hitchhiker's greatest pleasures is a long, soapy bubble bath. She uses a variety of shampoos and body washes...and stays in the tub until she is all pruney and smells like someone from a French whorehouse. Since she is too old to be a whore, she figures that is okay.

When she is finished with all of the essentials, the hitchhiker opens up her laptop and posts another road update in her blog.

Yes, the lifestyle of the poor and hitching is tough...but somebody's got to do it.

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