Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Terri's Mangled Christmas Poem


Terri Moulton (No Longer A Horman) wrote a "Christmas Poem", back when she was a younger,
little Ecker.

My friend, Juli Henry, wrote a post about it in her blog, recently.

I decided to add my brilliant commentary to what Juli refers to as: :"Terri's Stupid Poem."

Here, then is Ms. Moron...I mean, Ms. Moulton's poem, with my reactions:

"While twinkling lights and glistening stars
Surround my every thought"

(You mean your thoughts are surrounded by
a 40 0z. beer and an extra-large pizza, don't you,
Terri?)

"I hear children's laughter and eager minds
Growing through the year"

(Do you ever hear Kyron's voice?)

"I create with play-doh and building blocks"

(Aren't you a little old for that, Hag Breath?)

"Whilst wearing paint upon my dress"

(You shouldn't handle a paint brush when
you're drunk.)

"It doesn't matter how long we take
It's the mess we love to make"

(Well, if anyone knows how to make a
mess of things, it's YOU, right Terri?)

"We display snowflakes upon our windows"

(Why don't you display a poster about your
missing stepson?)

"And wreaths are hung on shivering doors"

(The only door that shivers is the one that
YOU open)

"Icicles cast shadows on the gophers who
pass"

(Gophers?!! Really? Woman, you really
were deep in the hooch when you wrote this
poem, weren't you?)

"To be seen nevermore"

(You sure have a thing for making things
disappear, don't you? Gophers...your stepson...)

"As this year of the Millennia comes to a close
And we garnish our Christmas trees
With happiness and woes"

(Woes? Exsqueeze me, Red Rat, but who
decorates their tree with woes?)

"Remember who Christmas is for
Then take time to
tickle their little toes"

(I think that you should take some
time out to have a long chat with a
prison psychiatrist!)

1 comment:

Juli Henry said...

Nothing says "Christmas" like gophers, does it? On a more serious note, I wonder if Terri is one of those abusers who killed animals as a teenager....