-PHOTO BY RUTH RADER-
There are two ways to fix a door: Replace the knob or use the method that's pictured above.
The same rule applies to repairing people: Do it right or make the problem worse.
It's amazing how many people will choose the latter over the former. As if some individuals
believe that most broken people just need a little tinkering and a tune-up at Ace Hardware.
Damaged people need far more intervention than that.
I spend time in messy pools of human misery, every single day now. Soon I hope to leave
it all behind and move into my own apartment.
I need my own space and time to open all of the creative gates that have been closed for too long.
I want to grow an herb and flower garden and maybe a tree of some kind (bay leaf?) in my apt. I want to burn every scent of candle known to man. I want to sit in a tub, filled with bubbles and sing the lyrics to Van Halen's classic song, "JUMP!" at the top of my lungs.
I want to walk around town just so that I can turn around and walk back home, again.
I want to gather flowers and put them in a vintage vase from a thrift store. Then watch as the sun curves around and turns the glass into a prism of rainbows. I want to get my teeth cleaned at a dentist's office, paint my nails nicely and put on a skirt.
Maybe I'll learn how to play a piano. Maybe I'll design a line-art character that everybody likes. Maybe I'll write a novel. Maybe I'll chew up a rumor and spit out a truth.
One thing is for sure: before this Winter season is over, I am going to go home. And for me, an ugly problem will soon transform into a beautiful thing.